The coincedence of no battery

It had been quite a while since I last wrote anything here. Probably due to the fact that I was not feeling very sentimental lately, or simply try to use "busy" or "no time" as another excuse. It was in fact, as I mentioned, quite a turbulent few weeks as I have changed my job.
I do feel a lot of uneasiness lately about this job change. On one side, I asked/pushed myself hard for a change of what I do for living, but on the other side, it seems like I am pushing myself for a change so much that I forced myself onto sth which is what I don't want.

The new company was waiting for my arrival for months and I have to admit I have hestiated not to fulfill my promise of coming to work them. I don't know, at the end of the day, I thought I was doing just because I try to honour what I promised, yet from where my new colleague is saying, even they are not too sure about my arrival and they won't be too surprise if I say I don't want to work with them anymore.

The new laptop was there on my desk, along with full set of stationary, as well as brand new mobile phone, the colleague from adminstration asked me whether I want a new sim card for my phone or not. It looks like everything is ready for me to be tied up with my work to a 24 hrs basis. Something I am pretty sure that I don't want to cope with. I keep asking myself why I choose this, if it is something for a change, then definitely a change which I don't want. It was the fear of losing my own time, my own freedom which I fear of. I almost planned my "exit" stratgies on my first day of work.

Then it is the battery saga. Firstly, it was my own laptop batteries, it decided to "die" and I can no longer charge it. Secondly, it was the battery of my favourite and only watch in which one day it had stopped. Along with my half-dead ipod, I realise I had 3 batteries of different kind that I need to replace at once. I almost feel like a "bad" omen or a series of bad luck, although it doesn't really mean anything. Maybe just one of those coincedence things which happen in my life all too often, but then it may be not. Fixing them are not easy though and for my laptop one, it proves to be too expensive to do so.

Tonight I decide to write this because I am not too sure whether I will have any chance to write this anymore after my boss comes back from overseas. I am not even sure how I hard I require to work in this company. I will nevertheless try to work at my own pace, and if that doesn't suit them, then I am pretty happy and content to say goodbye to them...without too much regrets.

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