2008
New year just come and went by.
Not much celebration for me over the so-called holiday.
Can't indeed find any reason to celebrate, or indeed looking forward to.
No motivation at all for what I am doing at the moment.
The whole body seems to be burnout very quickly and;
I felt everyday I am asking myself the same question:
what the hell am I doing here?
I feel I am stuck in a situation in which there is no help at all.
Staying in this city, although I am much better off than a lot of people, I felt as I am stuck in this place.
So stuck that I can't get anywhere at all.
Rountine, works, pressures, pain and suffering, all seems to get a better of me.
Health wise, I can't do much about (or not really don't know which way to go) the on-going problem.
My work was anything but interesting. I worked probably twice as hard but getting half the pay I used to get.
Relationship wise, well, I ceased to have any intention, or motivation to get into it again.
Too much bad memories maybe, not enough courage probably, I just felt I am lacking of energy to take on any relationship at all. You can say the fact that a right person may not come up yet, but tell you the truth, even that person has come, I may have to let this one go too.
In fact, it may not be just relationship. Maybe my work, and myself too. Oh, may be, I am simply in a bad mood for a start of new year. A pessimistic outlook of a year ahead.
Not much celebration for me over the so-called holiday.
Can't indeed find any reason to celebrate, or indeed looking forward to.
No motivation at all for what I am doing at the moment.
The whole body seems to be burnout very quickly and;
I felt everyday I am asking myself the same question:
what the hell am I doing here?
I feel I am stuck in a situation in which there is no help at all.
Staying in this city, although I am much better off than a lot of people, I felt as I am stuck in this place.
So stuck that I can't get anywhere at all.
Rountine, works, pressures, pain and suffering, all seems to get a better of me.
Health wise, I can't do much about (or not really don't know which way to go) the on-going problem.
My work was anything but interesting. I worked probably twice as hard but getting half the pay I used to get.
Relationship wise, well, I ceased to have any intention, or motivation to get into it again.
Too much bad memories maybe, not enough courage probably, I just felt I am lacking of energy to take on any relationship at all. You can say the fact that a right person may not come up yet, but tell you the truth, even that person has come, I may have to let this one go too.
In fact, it may not be just relationship. Maybe my work, and myself too. Oh, may be, I am simply in a bad mood for a start of new year. A pessimistic outlook of a year ahead.
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