Trivial thing, or is it?!

It has been a month since I have written my last blog. For some reasons, I found little things I want to discuss about. Not the fact that life has been so dull that there is nothing worth to write about. It just is the just the fact that everything seems to be so trivial to me, eventhough from the eyes of others, they are not. Maybe also because I have said, shared so much already on those social network web site. I found I am running out of idea/time/space to say what I want to say one more time in my own blog. Over the month, I have made some rather serious decision about my own future, in terms of career and perhaps even lifestyle. I also picked up some travelling and visiting one of my best friends overseas. Yeah, despite having some difficulties when making those decisions, judgments, I often reflect on myself as to how difficult I am as a person to be convince into one certain sets of idea. I am always fear (not a very good habit I have to say) about making wrong decisions which lead to "wrong" outcome. Yet as time goes by, I realised that there may no right or wrong decision, or better/worse still, no right/wrong outcome as well. It was just choices and outcomes, which you may like it when you make the decisions but not anymore when the result becomes truth. It maybe to do with my mindset, or my perfectionist (as my friend has described me) attitude towards many thing in my life, whether it is career, relationship, or family. Suddenly I feel I should be more random and "impulsive" about the so called important decision I need to make in my life. Not because I don't care anymore but because every single decision I have made, it won't lead to a decision state but instead, it leads to more decision which I need to make. It seems like everything is a bit like the red pill/blue pill thing in the movie "Martix". It is about choices, many of them. When you consciously make one, you realised that despite the fact it will lead to a desire result, it was pretty short terms and very soon you will need to make another one in different position, or from a different perspective. When you look back, you almost feel as if you should make a different decision when you have a chance to do it on day one.

It was another set of "important decision that I made for the last couple of weeks. They were all making sense after I barely convince myself they are. Maybe I should wait and see. But I have to say, when making those this time around, I found myself caught between a rock and a hard place. Oh, well, then again, it maybe not as important/crucial as I thought after all.